May you find her and may happiness find you ...

It's been a few days since we've found out Mr Lee had passed on. He's been ever-present in Singapore and his presence will be sorely missed especially with this year being the celebration of 50 years of independence.

I have never truly been one for politics and National Day celebrations have for many years been more 'meh' than 'wow' - although the Pledge gets me everytime. Everytime. There's just something about it being said out loud and in such great numbers - a tingle down the spine is what it is. The other thing I look forward to on National Day? The sight of Lee Kuan Yew watching the parade. I won't get to see that anymore. We won't get that anymore. Life is sometimes ... one big irony. That the man who founded modern Singapore should miss its jubilee celebrations is in one word, cruel.

Like many others, I've been reading the articles about Mr Lee that have mushroomed on the Internet. What have I learnt about the man? I greatly admire his will, determination and passion to make Singapore a better place than it was since the 1950s.

I really don't care what the detractors are saying - because if they cannot see that Singapore has made gigantic strides since then, they have already decided they are going to argue regardless of the facts and you cannot win discussions against people who have already decided they are right. Remember they are looking for an argument not a discussion.

Ignore too the detractors who claim that Singapore sacrificed too much in our march from a Third World to a First World country - they dream of an utopia where everybody's dreams are powered by their country's success without nary an impingement upon their freedoms. That world does not exist so let us not waste time discussing that. I've never felt my freedoms being curtailed in Singapore, even when I was in National Service. Did I long to be free? Yes, I did. Did I feel as if my freedoms were being trampled on? No because I get that my two and a half years contributed in some miniscule way in keeping Singapore safe hence my loved ones stayed safe. Surely no one can be that dense that they cannot see that. I do get irritated that I have to keep declaring to Mindef whenever I travel. Can we change that so that I feel like a son of Singapore and not a criminal?

Can Singapore be better? Yes, it can and while I hesitate to put words into Mr Lee's mouth, I get the idea that he would be the first to agree. He did not strike me as someone keen to rest on his laurels, someone who would regard the job as done - he struck me as someone keen to ensure Singapore kept on moving towards another level.

The second thing I've learned about Mr Lee? That he was a loving husband, father and sibling. At the end of our lives, strip away all the titles you've garnered, all the honorifics you're gifted, all the praise you've received for a job well done and that is the measure of a man/woman. He loved and was loved and in my world that is all that matters.
 

As a young man in love

As a father of children

As a grandfather

The passing of his wife

Hopefully a poignant reunion

By the same logic, I've never understood how some people seem to place their movement up their office hierarchy above their family. I hope I was reading them wrongly. At the end of my life, if my students lauded me for making an impact on their lives, well and good but I know I won't be able to take it if my own children grew up with an absent father. That is not to say - and this conclusion has been frequently jumped to when I made this string of reasoning - that I would shortchange my students in their learning. At the end of the day, my students have parents and damn it, they have to play their parts too. I have digressed though so let us get back on point. My admiration stems from the fact that Mr Lee has done well on both fronts - his family and his Singapore.

What else do I admire? His pragmatic approach to life, for one. It was also why I could only shake my head and smile at the social media campaign to wear black for the state funeral being quickly followed by another exhorting the wearing of white. It was also with a wry smile that I shook off comments from residents around my school that the sports games in the field were too noisy and that girls were screaming during a period of national mourning. The same shake of the head greeted comments that couples were still proceeding and heavens forbid! smiling during phototaking and what-nots. If I were to hazard a guess based on what I've read, Mr Lee would have asked them to wear whatever made them comfortable, blessed my school to carry on because students are still learning and teaching them that the human spirit is a wonderful thing that is capable of grieving and laughing at the same time. Lastly, he would have urged the couple to carry on and have a good marriage because at the end of the day, Singapore is still dealing with a low birthrate and we could use another baby!

I pondered over all these and more as I wondered if I should pen down my thoughts. I knew I would ramble because there is so much to say about the man and many others have written more eloquently than I could hope to do, some, many in fact have brought tears to my eyes.

At the end of a 10 hour trek to Parliament House to pay my last respects, I arrived there no closer to writing that graceful eulogy I was hoping for. What do you write for a man who has given his all for his country? I could only pen down a few simple words for what I wished he could have.

Dear Mr Lee,
May you find her and may happiness finds you.