Was waiting for the Liverpool - West Ham match to start but it's gone pear shaped. Pool's down 2-0 so I might as well pen down more thoughts.
It's been a hectic week, with multiple school events and the IELTS test. I have never been very good with dates and scheduling is always a nightmare for me. Hence it came as no surprise that I had scheduled my oral test on the same day as the Colours Awards that was being held in my school. Having to seek permission to leave for my test meant telling them why I needed to be absent on the day so some of my colleagues now know what I'm planning to do.
As you can imagine, this engendered some pretty interesting conversation topics. One of my colleagues, C, had in fact just returned from her studies in Australia, when asked if she wanted to stay there instead of coming back, she was undecided. She did offer advice that it was not easy to get a job over there and concerns over being a 2nd class citizen.
Another colleague, SY told me that he could not believe that I would just uproot my family and leave Singapore. I was candid with him, there's nothing to hide after all. Let me see if Ican recall what I said;
1) There is never a right time to leave. Kids could be too young, too old, exams too important to miss etc etc. It does not matter, if you have to leave, leave.
2) I don't need to leave. Life is comfortable for me, decent salary, finally found another school that I like working for with decent colleagues to boot.
3) Hard to leave rest of family behind, that goes without saying.
4) Leaving because of fear? I bought my resale HDB flat at $360k slightly more than 10 years ago. We thought it was expensive then. Fast forward to the present day and I could concieviably sell it for double that price. In 20 years time when it's my kids turn to purchase their abodes, what would they be looking at? I mean, some HDB flats have gone for a million dollars already. It's not fear for myself. I'm fearful for my childrens future.
5) COE, COE, COE. Need I say more? We are close to spending a years' wage on a piece of paper ENTITLING us to own a car for 10 years. There is something so wrong with that word and yet so reflective of our society.
*6) I spent a decade struggling with the Chinese language, never once doing well in it till my A levels. Through some stroke of luck or the marker feeling extremely generous on that particular night, I finally garnered a decent grade. It was so unexpected my MT teacher told me not to resit for the paper because I would never better the grade (her words exactly). Being stubborn, I did not listen but that did not stop her from being proven right. I digress. The point is, my kids have inherited my weakness in Chinese Language - They have been doing ok, slightly in the low 60s but recently my daughter returned with a failed assessment. Suffice to say, that night brought on a lot of soul searching and planted the seed of migration in my mind.
I remember sitting on my sofa, exhausted from talking to my daughter about improving her MT grades and feeling like scum because she was upset and crying. I do not want my children to grow up unhappy. Am I being soft? Am I transferring my own failures and imagining it on them? Maybe but I don't think so. Anyway, there I was on the sofa, with my tablet in hand, googling for information on migration to Australia.
Two websites caught my attention, the first being Neurotic Ramblings of a Singaporean Couple which I spent hours devouring. The advice on that website is invaluable and acurately listed. It is a pity they haven't written much recently but it's because they are happily settled in Melbourne! Still an invaluable read. If I recall correctly, I was up all night till nearly 4 am. School was only 2 hours away. I tried to sleep but the mind was just racing. Could I? Should I? Dare I?
The second website, A Singaporean Son was equally awesome as a resource and touching to read as a record of his trials, tribulations and happiness. I sincerely wish him, his wife and his daughter all the best in life.
If I ever decide to share this blog and you come across this sorry excuse of a diary hoping for more information, do head to those two blogs, they do a much much better job.
With that the germ was planted, with those two websites came the relief knowing that it had been done and was doable.
With a simple conversation with my wife as she was driving;
Me: 'Dear, I've been thinking about migrating to Australia'
(In the background of my mind, I was preparing all my reasons why we should do it but in all honesty, it was just a feeling of rightness)
Wife: (Glancing over at me before looking back at the road) Ok loh.
I was astounded. Caught speechless. Still am.
Many days later when I found my senses, I asked her why she said yes. (We've actually had that conversation many times before but in a joking manner and I had never actually been prepared to take it anywhere - most of the times we had those conversations was when we were actually vacationing in Australia). She simply said it was because she knew I had always wanted to live there and she was prepared to follow.
I love this woman.
It's times like this when you feel your heart swell with emotion.
I was so choked up I did not tell her how much it meant that she had said yes. I still haven't.
I do not know what the future might hold. We might chicken out and end up going nowhere. If that happens, I'll look at this blog and have a good laugh at myself.
Nothing however can take away what she said and how I felt.
I love you, J.
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